You know the guy isn’t for you. He’s hurt you in more ways than one, and you’ve broken up several times already. You don’t see a future with him yet whenever he calls you, you end up meeting him. When he doesn’t call you, you fret over why. You’re too scared to tell your friends you’ve been thinking of him and you hate yourself for doing it; for being such a pathetic loser.
Yes, the guy is wrong for you. He gives you nothing but pain, it’s like he serves no purpose but to torture you. The worst part is you’re addicted to him like you would to a bad habit. The truth about bad habits: they’re the most destructive and the hardest to break.
What makes you want to go back to him over and over again is the inconsistency in the odd relationship. The fact that he calls up three times a day a week to zero in the next, and then the only time you hear from him again is after a couple of months, winds up in you wanting more of it. So you give in to your craving and end up hating yourself after it’s over again. What you forgot was that he is as inconsistent as his calls, not something none would want in a best friend for life.
Like all bad habits the only way to get out of this vicious cycle , which can eat you up if you don’t get a hold of yourself, is to be firm about your goal and ignore all temptations.
Here are 5 sure ways that can help you get a control over your life again;
Write it down: Write down all that you feel about him and the relationship. Be as brutal as you need to; use words that describe exactly how you feel about the whole thing. Do this every day or whenever you feel like you’re losing it again. When the emotions are over, read through your write up and reflect on the relationship again. Hopefully this will imprint a strong message on your mind that will make you think twice about going back to him.
Rubber band theory: A psychiatrist recommended theory is to wear a rubber band on your wrist and whenever you begin thinking of him, snap the rubber band on your hand. The ‘ouch’ factor will serve as a negative reinforcement.
Throw away the junk: Delete all his numbers, addresses, pictures and anything else that reminds you of him. If possible do the same with your own contacts – be unreachable to him.
Turn him into a list: This should be easy, note down all of his negative points and keep it with you. Whenever he calls up keep the list infront of you and converse. Let him sweet talk you however he wants – you stay firm. If you end up arguing with him again and talking rudely to him, the list has worked.
Ignore and avoid: If you meet him up front, ignore and avoid; stop talking about/to him, stop receiving his calls, ignore his mails and avoid his presence. Once you get used to it, he’ll eventually disappear in to the background.
Remember how he cheated on you with that girl in his office, and how he got lost with another one at the party? Did you forget how he flatly dumped you for a night out on his own? Do you remember the lies and the sleepless nights you had crying over them? Can you feel the insecurity; can you feel how inferior his acts made you feel? Keep them all in your mind so that whenever he pops into it, let these thoughts fight out his picture from your memory.
You my dear, are worth millions, why should you resort to someone who can’t see that?
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